Recently we have learned of a very famous comedian/actor, Robin Williams. He was on 63 and sadly committed suicide due to depression. He left behind a loving family and fans who admired and looked up to him.
Depression is real, it's not something made up by doctors to get money from you. Its real and people suffer from it everyday. It is the worst feeling in the world, I would know, for years I suffered from depression. I took medications that kind of helped me, that made it bearable for me to go out and have fun.
Depression makes you feel alone even when you're not. It eats at you slowly and makes you not want to do anything. People ask you if your okay, whats wrong and what they can do to help; there is no answer because to a depressed person there is no fix.
Everything is too much for you to handle; the nose, the lights. You want to be alone but at the same time you don't. When people are around you want them to leave, to leave you alone; yet, when they do leave all you want is for them to come back. There is not straight answer, there is nothing anyone can really give you or do to help you out of your depression.
You sit there, alone, and you feel nothing. You would do anything to feel something. So many people resort to cutting or burning to feel something, ANYTHING. Most of the time it works but it slowly stops working, so you cut or burn yourself more and more, the razor cuts deeper and deeper, one slash turns into 5. You leave that lighter on your skin for a few seconds longer, one burn turns into 3. It's all to feel something, you get so tired of feeling nothing at all, not emotions. Then you feel the pain and it feels good.
You try talking to someone; a friend, a family member but it doesn't help. They don't understand and maybe you even feel judged. Maybe, just maybe, you go see a professional, but it doesn't help, they aren't there when you really need them, you know, when you're sitting in your room all alone and 2 AM crying, sometimes you don't even know why, you just feel alone, empty. Maybe you reach for the knife or lighter again. Maybe this time you'll feel something.
Depression is no joke, it's not just something you get just 'get over' there is no real cure. I have suffered from depression for 9 years and even though I have gotten so much better every now and then it still hits me, I am still effected by it. My wonderful husband tends to notice when it happens and will always ask if he can do anything, and even though my answer is always the same, he never stops asking. He reminds me that he is there for me if I need him and that he loves me. It does help, more than he probably realizes.
Depression is real! Losing Robin Williams just shows you that even the happiest of people can be dying inside. He tried so hard to make everyone smile and laugh because on the inside he was dying. He made me laugh until I cried. People die everyday from depression, it's happening all around us, sometimes its hard to see and other times all you have to do is pay more attention. It's there, hiding around the corner or maybe even right in front of your face.
RIP Robin Williams. I hope you finally found the peace and happiness you so desperately wanted and needed.
Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255
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